I have an addiction. I’m addicted to approval.
I’ve never attended an AA meeting, or had a close friendship with someone in those circles, but my guess is that at the genesis of addiction you find a desire. Without desire, none of us would do anything.
It’s easy to judge what we see and say “if I could just stop doing this (fill in the blank with the activity or behaviour) then I would conquer this addiction”.
But simply addressing the behaviour is missing the point.
I’ve been addicted to approval, but as a recovering addict I can honestly say that seeking validation from others does not serve me well.
The approval, the affirmation (fill in your addictive behavior here) only temporarily meets a craving. And after getting that hit we keep coming back for more.
Trying to hold on to something.
When we use our addictive behaviours as a lens to see deeper into ourselves we come face to face with our deep-seated desires. And we realize that the only source that will ever satisfy all the longings and desires is already found within, not without. It’s as simple and complicated as that.
The heart of an addict is healed by the heart within the addict.
Join me in this episode as I talk about being a recovering addict, affirm the place of desire in our lives, and propose how we might use the metaphor of Thor’s hammer to help claim our own power.
Music by Caleb Etheridge.
Fear of self-definition is what keeps an amateur an amateur and what keeps an addict an addict.Steven Pressfield